Living with Anxiety: How I Stopped Letting Anxiety Interrupt My Life

Dear friend,

I'm so glad you're here.

Lately, I've been thinking about how quietly anxiety can steal the moments we look forward to most. The regular little ordinary moments. If you experience anxiety, you know it has a way of making itself feel incredibly important.

For me, it rarely shows up in dramatic ways. It isn't always panic attacks or obvious fear. More often, it's a stream of "what if" thoughts that quietly sneaks into an otherwise ordinary day.

I wake up with every intention of having a good day.

I get up, work out, make my protein coffee, and look forward to whatever I've planned. Maybe I'm running a few errands, meeting a friend for lunch, or heading to my favorite park for a little grounding.

Nothing extraordinary. Just the ordinary moments that make up a life.

Then my anxiety shows up.

Sometimes it's about my health. Truthfully, it's usually about my health. Other times it's about driving somewhere unfamiliar (I get so illogically anxious, as if I will get lost and end up on Mars. lol). Sometimes there isn't even a clear reason. It's simply that familiar feeling that maybe today isn't the day to leave the house.

What if I have a panic attack while I'm out?

What if I don't feel well?

What if something happens while I'm driving?

Before I know it, the day I imagined for myself has quietly been replaced by the day my anxiety has imagined instead.

The errands can wait until tomorrow.

The walk suddenly doesn't seem that important. I can always do Zumba in my basement instead.

Lunch can be rescheduled.

I'll stay home today and try again another time.

I always know it's anxiety. Understanding it isn't the hard part. The hard part is that knowing doesn't make it any easier. I can't simply tell myself, "You're catastrophizing," and expect my body to believe me. My heart still races. The fear still feels real. Every worst-case scenario still seems possible, even when I know better.

I think that's one of the most frustrating parts of living with anxiety. There's a gap between what I know logically and what I feel emotionally.

I know I'm probably not in danger.

I know my mind is jumping ten steps ahead.

I know I'm imagining things that haven't happened.

But knowing those things doesn't stop anxiety from trying to convince me to stay home.

Some days I go anyway. Some days I don't. Either way, the battle is real.

For a long time, I waited for the anxiety to settle down before I did the things I wanted to do. It made sense to me at the time.

I told myself I'd go when I felt more confident.

I'd take the walk when I felt calmer.

I'd make the plans when leaving the house didn't feel so hard.

It all sounded reasonable at the time. I didn't realize I was avoiding my life. I honestly believed I was waiting until I felt well enough to live it.

Eventually I realized the anxiety was attached to me like velcro and I needed to learn to manage it more than I needed to wait for it to leave. It may never fully leave, it certainly was't taking the hint!

The Tools That Help Me Live with Anxiety

So I stopped waiting for anxiety to magically change and started looking for tools that could help me change the way I responded to it. Some of those tools were practical (therapy is a huge help, I encourage everyone to go to therapy at some point), some were mindset shifts,

Some were habits I practiced over and over until they became second nature.

And one of the most powerful has been writing.

I am not suggesting that writing cures anxiety. It doesn't. But writing does something my anxious mind struggles to do on its own. It slows everything down.

When my thoughts start racing, I stop trying to untangle them in my head and put them on paper instead. I write down every fear, every prediction, and every worst-case scenario. Then I read it back.

Somewhere between writing the thoughts and reading them, they lose some of their power. I can usually see the difference between what seems likely and what anxiety is predicting.

Sometimes that's enough for me to grab my keys and go do the thing with anxiety in tow.

Sometimes I still need a little more time.

Either way, writing reminds me that anxiety doesn't get to make the decision for me.

Until next time,

---

Penned Pause

Before you go, I'd love to leave you with a few questions to carry into the rest of your day.

• Has anxiety been asking me to postpone something I've really wanted to do?

• What has "I'll do it tomorrow" cost me lately?

• Is this decision coming from wisdom...or from fear?

• What is one small thing I can do today, even if I don't feel completely comfortable?

• If anxiety didn't get the final say today, what would I choose?

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