Thoughtful musings on journaling, self-care, and the art of being you.
Hey friend,
I’ve been pondering on something and wanted to share with you. It’s about self care. I don’t know about you, but I feel like everyone's out here making it seem like this big ole, grand, Instagram/TikTok-worthy thing. Complete with expensive face masks, exotic bubble baths, and perfectly curated morning routines. And don't get me wrong, those things are nice to see and serve as inspiration. But who is really, genuinely waking up at 5 am, making homemade protein bars, running 5 miles, and dunking their face in a bowl of ice water? WHO?!?! Those that are, God bless you and good job! But for the rest of us……is that what self-love looks like? In my mind and in my life, no, it looks vastly different but is beneficial all the same. Let's discuss how to practice self love in a way that's easy to incorporate into our every day lives.
I think self-love is simply about showing up for yourself - even when it's not pretty, even when you don't feel like it, even when nobody's watching (especially when nobody’s watching). Because let's be real - when you're juggling motherhood, work, and everything life throws at you, it's usually not pretty. It's messy. It's imperfect. It's doing what you can with what you have. But it's the small, consistent things you do that reminds you that you matter. That you're worth the effort. That you deserve to feel good.
So if you're looking for some self-love rituals that are all for you - not for “the gram” - and actually feel authentic and doable, here are some that might resonate with you. No pressure to do them all. Just a few I think can fit easily into your beautifully chaotic life. Pick what feels right and start there.
How to Practice Self Love: 10 Real Rituals:
1. Morning Check-Ins (Before You Do Anything Else)
Before you grab your phone, before you start your to-do list, before you do anything for anyone else - check in with yourself. Just for a minute.
Ask yourself: How am I feeling right now? What do I need today?
Period. That's it. You don't have to fix anything or solve anything. Just notice. Just listen. Because honestly, how often do we actually stop and ask ourselves what we need? (the answer is: not often enough)
This simple, easy-peasy practice of checking in with yourself first thing sets the tone for the whole day. It reminds you that your needs matter, that your feelings are valid, and that you're allowed to honor what's true for you.
2. Say One Kind Thing to Yourself Daily
This one sounds so simple, but it's powerful. Every single day, say one genuinely kind thing to yourself. Out loud if you can.
Not some generic affirmation that doesn't feel true yet. Something real. Something you actually believe or are working toward believing (this is very important! You know the saying from that movie “if you build it, they will come” well think of it this way: If you say it, you will believe it).
It could be:
"I'm juggling a lot, and I'm doing it the best way I know how."
"I showed up today even when it was hard - I’m proud of myself."
"I'm learning as I go, and I don't have to have it all figured out.
"I deserve my own compassion - not just everyone else's."
The more you speak kindly to yourself, the more natural it becomes. And slowly, that inner voice that used to be so critical? It starts to soften.
3. Move Your Body in a Way That Feels Good
Self-love isn't about punishing your body with workouts you hate. It's about moving in ways that make you feel alive and connected to yourself.
Maybe that's dancing in your living room to your favorite songs. Maybe it's a walk outside where you can breathe and think. Maybe it's stretching on your bedroom floor. Maybe it's nothing at all some days, and that's okay too.
The point isn't to exercise because you think you "should." It's to move because it feels good. Because your body deserves to feel strong and free and appreciated.
4. Create a "No" Boundary Somewhere
Boundaries. This is a big one for most of us. A lot of us have this mechanism inside ourselves that cannot fathom disappointing people. We will stuff our real feelings deep down inside, hold our breaths and do all the things we don’t want to do. Not for us, but for others. That’s the antithesis of self-love. Self-love means protecting your peace. And sometimes that means saying no.
No to plans you don't want to keep. No to people who drain your energy. No to obligations that don't serve you. No to doing things just because you feel like you should.
Pick one place in your life where you need to set a boundary, and practice saying no. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It can be as simple as "I need some time to myself tonight" or "I can't take that on right now."
It’s funny….one of baby’s first words is “no”. It’s so easy to say. Yet, somewhere along the line we forget how to say it. Let’s practice right now: Nah. No. Nope. No Thanks!
Every time you honor your boundaries, you're telling yourself: My needs matter. My energy matters. I matter.
5. Do Something Creative (No Skills Required)
People are quick to declare “I’m not creative”, but that misses the point! Doing something creativity doesn't mean paint a master piece, compose a grammy nominated song or create a fancy meal befitting of a James Beard award winning chef. No, I'm saying freely express yourself - let go and create something that feels good to you. Something that releases pent up emotions, something that helps you say "woosah".
Write in a journal. Doodle. Cook something new. Rearrange your space. Make a playlist. Dance. Sing off-key in your car. Create something just because you want to, not because you’re trying to be perfect or impressive.
When you give yourself permission to create without judgment, you're practicing self-love. You're saying: I'm allowed to take up space. I'm allowed to express myself. I'm allowed to just be.
6. Spend Time Doing Absolutely Nothing
We're so used to being productive all the time that doing nothing feels uncomfortable. But rest is self-love.
Sit on your couch and stare out the window. Lie in bed and just breathe. Listen to music without multitasking. Let your mind wander.
Listen closely: You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to be productive to deserve downtime. You're allowed to just exist without doing anything at all. Don’t let anyone convince you that’s laziness, it's not - it’s honoring your humanity.
7. Celebrate Your Small Wins
Self-love is recognizing that you're doing hard things every single day, even when they don't feel monumental. You got out of bed when you didn't want to? That counts. You had a difficult conversation? That counts. You chose yourself even though it was uncomfortable? That counts.
At the end of each day, name one thing you're proud of yourself for. Write it down. Say it out loud. Let yourself feel good about it. Because you deserve to acknowledge your growth, your effort, and your courage - even in the small moments.
8. Surround Yourself with Things That Bring You Joy
Self-love can be as simple as curating your environment to support your well-being.
Put on music that makes you feel something. Light a candle that smells amazing. Keep your favorite snacks around. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. Fill your space with things that genuinely bring you joy.
You deserve to be surrounded by beauty, comfort, and things that make you smile. Your environment should support you, not drain you.
9. Forgive Yourself for Something
This might be the hardest one, but it's also one of the most important.
Think of something you've been holding against yourself. A mistake you made. A choice you regret. A version of yourself you're ashamed of. I can think of a few that I am actively trying to free myself of.
And then, as gently as you can, forgive yourself.
Say it out loud: "I forgive myself for [whatever it is]. I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time." Truth is, we make a lot of mistakes as we grow. A lot. We made decisions based on the information we had at that time, with the tools we had at that time. Just because we are older and wiser now doesn’t mean we get to hold our younger selves' feet to the fire forever!. We wouldn’t do that to others. We would be quick to tell others to forgive themselves and let it go. But for some reason, we don’t give that gift to ourselves. We’ve gotta change that!
We are human beings. And humans mess up. That's okay. You're still worthy of love - especially your own.
10. End Your Day with Gratitude
Before you go to sleep, think of three things you're grateful for from that day. They don't have to be big. In fact, the smaller and more specific, the better.
Maybe it's the way the sun felt on your face. The person who smiled at you. The song that came on at the perfect time. The fact that you made it through another day.
Gratitude shifts your energy. It reminds you that even on hard days, there's always something good. And that awareness? That's self-love too.
The journey to learning to love yourself isn't something you achieve and then you're done. It's not a destination. It's a practice. Some days it's easy, some days it's hard, and some days you forget entirely - and that's okay. The more you practice, the better you will be. That’s true for anything!
You don't have to do all of these rituals. You don't have to do them perfectly (let go of the expectation of perfection). You just have to start somewhere. Pick one thing that resonates with you and try it. See how it feels. Adjust as you go.
You deserve to feel loved, especially by yourself. You deserve rituals that remind you of your worth. You deserve to take up space and honor your needs and speak kindly to yourself.
Start small. Be patient. And remember - self-love is one of the most radical, beautiful things you can practice.
Be radical. You're worth it.
P.S. If you're looking for a place to start, try the morning check-in tomorrow. Just one minute before you do anything else. Ask yourself how you're feeling and what you need. That's it. See what shifts when you put yourself first, even for just sixty seconds. You can do it mentally, in your mind or you can grab a pen and paper and write it.
P.S.S. Self-love isn't selfish. It's not indulgent. It's not something you have to earn. You're allowed to love yourself exactly as you are right now - messy, imperfect, and still figuring it out. That's the whole point.
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