Thoughtful musings on journaling, self-care, and the art of being you.
Hey there, beautiful!
I can already see your eyes rolling and hear you saying: "Love letters? To MYSELF? Girl, what?" I get it. It sounds weird. Maybe even a little cringey. But hear me out, because this practice has genuinely changed how I talk to myself and how I show up in my own life.
Let's be honest - most of us are WAAAAAAY better at writing supportive texts to our friends than we are at being kind to ourselves. We'll hype up everyone else but turn around and talk to ourselves like we're the enemy.
So yes, I'm suggesting you write love letters to yourself. Not as some fluffy, goofy social media trend, but as a real, heart-centered practice that actually makes a difference.
Stick with me on this one.
Words Have Power (Especially the Ones We Say to Ourselves)
Ponder this for a moment: the voice in your head talks to you ALL DAY LONG. Every single day. And for a lot of us? If your voice is anything like my voice, it isn't very nice. It's critical, judgmental, harsh. It points out every flaw, every mistake, every "should have done better" and "should have known better".
The good news is - you have the power to change that narrative. There isn't a lot in life we can control, so take advantage of the ability to control this. Writing love letters to yourself is about intentionally choosing words that build you up instead of tearing you down. It's about being your own cheerleader, your own support system, your own source of encouragement.
Afterall, if you're going to have a voice in your head 24/7, it might as well be one that's your cheerleader, not your op!
5 Reasons Why Writing Love Letters to Yourself Actually Matters
1. Self-Love Isn't Selfish (It's Necessary)
Be clear: Loving yourself first is NOT selfish. I don't care what anyone says. You know the saying: "You can't pour from an empty cup". You can't show up authentically for others if you're running on fumes and self-criticism. You can't give away all of your love and not save some for yourself.
When you write a love letter to yourself, you're affirming that you are worthy of love exactly as you are. Not when you lose the weight. Not when you accomplish the goal. Not when you "get it together."
Right now. As you are. Worthy.
And that's the greatest affirmation you can give yourself - one that comes from within, not from waiting for someone else to validate you. Writing a love letter is like your heart sending a direct message to your soul saying "Hey, I see you. I love you. You're doing great."
2. Gratitude for Who You Are RIGHT NOW
We're experts at making lists of everything we want to change about ourselves, right?
"I'll be happy when I lose 10 pounds."
"I'll love myself more when I'm more successful."
"I'll feel worthy when I finally have it all together."
But here's the real truth: There's no perfect version of yourself waiting at some finish line.
You are worthy RIGHT NOW. In this moment. With all your imperfections, struggles, and "still figuring it out" energy.
A love letter to yourself reminds you of how far you've come, what you've survived, and that you're doing the best you can with what you have. And that's enough.
You're enough.
3. It Creates a Safe Space (No Judgment Allowed)
Let's be honest - most times we're our own worst critics. We judge ourselves for not doing enough, not being enough, and for past mistakes we can't let go of. We hold ourselves to impossible standards and beat ourselves up when we inevitably fall short.
Writing a love letter gives you permission to be gentle with yourself. It's a safe space where you can be completely honest - about your fears, your struggles, your dreams, your messy feelings. No filters. No pretending. Just raw truth.
And the beautiful part?: it doesn't have to be perfect. You don't need to be a poet or sound profound. You just need to be real. Because in that realness, in that vulnerability with yourself, healing happens.
4. It Reminds You How Strong You Actually Are
Life gets busy. We get caught up in the to-do lists, the responsibilities, the constant hustle. And somewhere in all that chaos, we forget just how much we've already survived.
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Writing a love letter lets you pause and acknowledge:
Everything you've overcome
The courage it took to get through hard times
The resilience you've shown when things fell apart
The qualities you actually admire in yourself (yes, they exist)
When you write those truths down, something shifts. You start to see yourself differently. You remember that you ARE that bitch!. You ARE capable. You HAVE been handling it, even when it didn't feel like it.
Those reminders? They're powerful. And they come from YOU - not from someone else trying to convince you.
5. It Feels Really Good
It is as simple as that. Writing love letters to yourself just feels good. There's something deeply comforting about giving yourself permission to feel loved, cherished, and supported by the most important person in your life - you. When you speak kindly to yourself, when you write words of love and encouragement, it shifts your whole energy. Your mindset changes. Your outlook softens. You feel a little lighter.
And during perimenopause when everything can feel heavy and hard? We need that lightness. We need that kindness. We need to be on our own team.
Okay, So How Do You Actually Do This?
If you're thinking "this sounds nice but I have no idea where to start" - I got you.
Set the Mood
You don't NEED a perfect setup, but it helps to find a quiet, comfortable space where you can actually think. Maybe light a candle. Make some tea. Get cozy. Put your phone on silent. Whatever helps you feel relaxed and present.
Start Simple
Write "Dear Me" or "Dear [Your Name]" at the top. Yes, it might feel weird. Do it anyway.
Then just... start writing. Whatever's on your heart. Maybe it's:
Gratitude for something you did recently
Comfort for something you're struggling with
Forgiveness for a mistake you keep beating yourself up about
Recognition of how hard you're trying
Celebration of something you accomplished (big or small)
There's no wrong way to do this. Just let it flow.
Use a Guided Journal
Find a journal specifically designed to assist in writing love letters to yourself. They are usually guided - with one or more prompts to help lead your thoughts then a blank page to write your letter. Here's a great choice.
Be Specific and Honest
Don't just write generic stuff. Get real with yourself. Instead of: "You're doing great" Try: "I'm so proud of you for showing up today even though you were exhausted and anxious. That took courage." The more specific and honest you are, the more it will resonate with you when you read it back.
Close with Love
End your letter with something affirming. Something your heart needs to hear.
Examples:
"I love you, and I'm so proud of you"
"You are enough, exactly as you are"
"I've got you, always"
"You're doing better than you think"
Let those words sink in.
Make It a Practice
The first time might feel awkward. That's normal. But the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. Some people write weekly. Some monthly. Some whenever they need it. There's no set rules. You make the rules.
Dedicating a special journal just for these letters is a great idea. A sacred space where you show up for yourself with love and honesty.
Listen, I get it...
I know some of you are reading this thinking "This sounds nice but I don't have time" or "This feels too touchy-feely for me." And I get it. Life is busy. Although it shouldn't, self-care can feel like one more thing on the to-do list.
But here's what I've learned: You're already spending energy on your inner dialogue. The voice in your head is already talking. This practice just redirects that energy toward something that actually helps you instead of hurts you. You deserve the same love and kindness you give to everyone else. You deserve to be supported, encouraged, and uplifted by yourself.
And honestly? If you're going to spend time with your thoughts anyway, you might as well make them loving ones.
Ok, Your Turn
I challenge you to try this. Just once.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a note on your phone if that's easier), and write yourself a short love letter. It doesn't have to be long. It doesn't have to be perfect.
Just write something kind. Something true. Something your heart needs to hear.
And then notice how you feel after. I bet it shifts something, even if it's subtle.
What would you say to yourself in a love letter? What does your heart need to hear right now? Drop it in the comments if you're comfortable sharing - sometimes putting it out there makes it even more real.
With so much love,
P.S. If the idea of writing to yourself feels too weird, start by writing to "past you" or "future you." Sometimes that feels easier. Try: "Dear Me (5 years ago), here's what I want you to know..." or "Dear Future Me, I hope you remember..."
P.P.S. Save your love letters somewhere safe. On hard days, go back and read them. They're like little time capsules of self-love you can return to whenever you need the reminder that you're worthy, you're loved, and you're doing just fine.
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